An obituary

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An obituary

Post by Huey Freeman on Sat Nov 09, 2013 1:50 pm

OBITUARY FOR THE LATE MR. COMMON SENSE:

Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Common Sense, who has been with us for many years. No one knows for sure how old he was, since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape.

He will be remembered as having cultivated such valuable lessons as: Knowing when to come in out of the rain; why the early bird gets the worm; Life isn't always fair; and Maybe it was my fault.Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don't spend more than you can earn) and reliable strategies (adults, not children, are in charge). His health began to deteriorate rapidly when well-intentioned but overbearing regulations were set in place. Reports of a 6 year-old boy charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate; teens suspended from school for using mouthwash after lunch; and a teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student, only worsened his condition.

Common Sense lost ground when parents attacked teachers for doing the job that they themselves had failed to do in disciplining their unruly children. It declined even further when schools were required to get Parental consent to administer Calpol, sun lotion or a band-aid to a student; but could not inform parents when a student became pregnant and wanted to have an abortion.

Common Sense lost the will to live as the Ten Commandments became contraband; churches became businesses; and criminals received better treatment than their victims.

Common Sense took a beating when you couldn't defend yourself from a burglar in your own home and the burglar could sue you for assault.

Common Sense finally gave up the will to live, after a woman failed to realize that a steaming cup of coffee was hot. She spilled a little in her lap, and was promptly awarded a huge settlement.

Common Sense was preceded in death by his parents, Truth and Trust; his wife, Discretion; his daughter, Responsibility; and his son, Reason.

He lived by his 3 stepbrothers; I Know My Rights, Someone Else Is To Blame, and I'm A Victim. Not many attended his funeral because so few realized he was gone.

_____________________________________________
Appearances rarely share the whole truth.
Weak humans are irresponsible and sneaky. They'd rather put the blame on others and let them suffer.
"We're Americans! We don't quit just because we're wrong! We just keep doing the wrong thing until it turns out right!"

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Re: An obituary

Post by YounesTheDrunk on Sat Nov 09, 2013 3:30 pm

RIP Common Sense

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Re: An obituary

Post by Phantom on Sat Nov 09, 2013 8:23 pm

Damn.

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"You speak of justice? Of cowardice? I will show you the justice of the grave, and the true meaning of fear."


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Re: An obituary

Post by ~*Rome*~ on Sat Nov 09, 2013 11:08 pm

Remember, if you hope you have it, then you're probably doing okay. I hope I do cyclops....

Why isn't everyone required to read this? ^

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"domat omnia virtus" - Virtue conquers all things.
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Re: An obituary

Post by ۞SmallC۞ on Sun Nov 10, 2013 12:54 pm

He will be missed
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